End in 2018

Just as I was reflecting over the last one year, an occurrence flashed back on my mind and I felt the rush of anger welling up from deep within ?

Quick flashback on the incidence??

I woke up very early that morning with so much vibe, cleaned my room, did my morning routine and off I was to the main students’ reading hall. I was going to finish all my outstanding work, even start preparing ahead for exams – I was so sure of it.

I started work at 6:30am. At 7am my friend and senior colleague showed up like my village people sent him to deal with me. He started a conversation that seemed like was going to be over in 5mins.

Lol the conversation ended about 9:30am. Damn it 2hours30minutes of my life listening to GIST(S). Listening? No Hearing gist actually. To think of it I wasn’t even into the whole talk. Not that I was enjoying the talk. For goodness sake I had work to do, a lot of work. I mean who leaves their room so early to go to a reading room for no reason or for the sake of idleness.

And really who wakes up early in the morning and has nothing to prepare for, plan, worry or think about? – even if it’s not for that day.

Even if you have nothing to do and you’ve decided to burn your time, at least find someone like you who has nothing doing also.

Like I still cannot get how people will go to reading / study environments and be comfortable to do/discuss things not academic related for hours. Like your body does not do you somehow?

I understand that you get tired or bored or sometimes depressed for long hours of sitting at a spot reading and you sometimes need to stretch check up what your friend or colleague is doing to be sure you’re not reading amiss. Yeah sure.

This is a different case scenario and maximum time you’re allowed to chat with me in such cases is 30mins and by 30mins, that will be probably because I’m on a short break or as depressed as you also. Asides this 3-5mins we should both be good.

This is where my problem is.

I just sat there watching the motions of his mouth for 2½hrs. I kept looking at my wrist watch but said nothing. (thinking a sensible person will know that means time up). I even forgot to smile at statements that seem like jokes – they weren’t funny because they were coming at the right time. Still I said nothing.

Like my roommate will always say “a closed mouth is a closed destiny”, I closed my mouth and closed my freedom to time and space for work.

How did the whole chatter end?

He saw the actual person he came to collect something from and that was it.

Though I was grateful that he finally left but I was already tired. You know how tiring a boring 2hours lecture can be, that even though you were seated all through the lecture, you’re just tired as if you just did a whole semester’s curriculum – that was how tired I was.

So, he was to meet up with someone there to collect something (whatever it was), but the person showed up late. As soon as he saw the person, he left. Damn!

I closed my mouth.

I just simply acted foolishly have a problem.

This is not the first time uninvited, unwanted guests would come to interrupt my work, as a matter of fact it happens a lot. But this particular case was just the height. And I was so pained because all my motivation for work that morning died.

Back to my problem.

I find it difficult to tell people time up. I find it difficult to tell people shut the f*** up, to tell time wasters to go get a life, to tell people that they are disturbing me, to tell people to go away. I find it tough to shun people. I don’t know why exactly.

This problem should not and will not follow me into 2019. It must be solved!

If you used to have this problem please help a sis to overcome too.

I am dropping it in 2018.?

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