“Isn’t it just sick?” – has been the thought on my mind all through that day.
So what exactly happened?
One of my girlfriends’ birthday was on Saturday; just in case you’re thinking, nah, not a med student (not that we don’t celebrate birthdays or organize parties – we do… sometimes). She is an accountant in a top international company, getting married this December, having a smooth life – maybe.
Since it’s her last Birthday being single, other girlfriends decided to make it special. I couldn’t be involved in planning and organizing as usual but I gave my part of the contributions to fund the party (that’s the least I can do).
I’ll be writing my fifth professional exam in less than 12 days, still not done with my research project work. For this period, is a birthday party not a frivolity?
“No I’m not going, I’ve made contributions towards the funding of the party”
On another thought, “people will see it as ‘somehow’ if I don’t go”
“I’ll just spend like 30mins- 45 mins there” – my final decision.
Immediately, I picked my phone to call another girlfriend telling her to give me a call when the party starts so that I can take taxify or Uber, since it about 15mins to the venue.
“You mean you won’t be around to organize the party?” – Fatima (Not her real name)
“Yes” – Me
“But we need assistance, we need hands. You have to come around to help out” – Fatima
“I have exams” – Me
“You can work a way around it na, we all are busy too and we are still making out time for this” – Fatima
“Really I can’t, I have exams next week and I’m not done with my project. Time is really not in my side” – Me
“Me too I have a presentation tomorrow at work and I have not started working on it, if I don’t finish the presentation tonight, I will have one week extension” – Fatima
I just hung up.
As in, what am I saying, what was she saying?
Extra year was on the line, my academics, my life literally and someone whose life is near perfect (even if it is not, it looks more like it) is telling me nonsense talk.
I just ended the call jare. No time for rubbish.
Oh dears forgive me I forgot to inform you that Fatima is a Physiotherapist (an intern). The one week extension simply means that she will have to work one extra week in that particular unit. After that, she moves to her next rotation. Life continues. No aftermath. No repercussion except that the things she ought to do that week will be postponed or forfeited. She’s two years younger than my age and already working and with a constant stable pay.
Me, I’m still stuck in a school, still dependent on parents and family for finances. At this point of my life, even if my village people have finished my matter, am I not supposed to still have small sense?
And she had so much confidence to compare my professional exam, risk of extra year with her mere one week extension.
Some arguments are not just lame and dumb, they are sick. Cut them off immediately and safe your energy for something more productive.
Some people are probably bent on having their way, and whether it soothes you or destroys you, they don’t care. My dear, escape from them anyhow.
Some people’s sense of judgement is distorted and so are out of touch with reality. It’s not their fault. Don’t blame them for it. But also, don’t let them ruin you because of their incapacity.
Fatima is still my very good friend, an inner circle friend. But the earlier I know what I’m dealing with the better for us all.